Grateful Acres

We are celebrating Jonathan's 3rd birthday today! Jonathan still lets/wants me to rock him before bed, and when I was rocking him recently I was thinking about when I rocked him as an infant... and how at the time I couldn't imagine him as big as he is now... Another thought about rocking, very much related: The boys are still adjusting to our new place, and with Henry that means he wants "upa?" even more than normal (to be carried). I've been racing around like a wild-woman trying to get our house unpacked before all the birthday parties this weekend, so on the particular day I'm thinking of, I didn't initially want to take the time to pause my racing and hold Henry. I had turned on a CD in the kitchen, hoping the calming songs would soothe my wild boys into playing in a bit more contained, less destructive manner. I stood in the kitchen and complied with Henry's "upa?" request, and started rocking to the music. He nestled in, and we liste...

This weekend my little family and I went garage sale-ing. I (and my husband!) love garage sale-ing, and now my 3yr old boy loves it too! (He grasped Grandma by the shoulders a few days ago, put his little face right up to hers and exclaimed, "Gramma! I could go to garage sales wis you???") Happily sale-ing along, we got hit by surprise. We were digging through a pile of kids toys, and the host of the sale came up to us and started to tell us that the money from the sale was to help pay for the medical bills of a baby that was still-born. We got rather solemly quiet as we listened to her... she went on to tell us that it was a baby girl, lost a year ago. After a damp, heavy silence, my husband spoke to tell her that we lost ours a month ago. (One month today, as I write this) I couldn't breathe again as I was reminded of my open wound. I had sunglasses on so she couldn't see my tears, but I think she could sense it. She froze, and apologized for our loss... This takes ...

These pictures have nothing to do with this post... they are just pictures of a rare, sweet moment that happened recently. My boys hardly ever sit still, and definitely not long enough to snuggle with eachother. HOWEVER, they were SO tired after 2 hours in their pool that they sunk into eachother as they had juice and enjoyed a veggie tales. I simply had to take pictures :) Anyway... I've learned recently that hard things are often not for the person going through them. I realized this by seeing that Evelyn's life was not intended for me... her life was for many, many others. When I learned I was carrying a little girl, my heart lept with a sudden list of thing I wanted to experience with her: ponytails, dolls, dresses, nail painting, watching her Daddy love a little girl and her brothers protect a little sister, and for me- the hope of a dear, forever friend. It's been quite the process to let go of the memories I won't have with her, and to replace them with the sweet...