Last month Josh and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary! Some dear friends of ours met up with us for dessert on our night out, and ended the evening by praying over us (it was awesome). They thanked God for the seven years He's given us, and asked Him to bless the next seven. That got me thinking about the number seven... on the "seventh day" God rested. So I began asking God to bless this year with REST.
In our first year of marriage we moved, got pregnant, and I quit my job.
Just barely into our second year we had Jonathan, and Josh dipped his toes into youth ministry.
In our third year we had Henry, moved, and bought a business (that year was NUTS!).
In our fourth year we began gutting and remodeling a house with Josh's parents.
In our fifth year we briefly held Evelyn, moved again, and switched churches.
In our sixth year we had Ruby, bought a new machine for our business, dove head first into youth ministry and worship ministry.
In our seventh year we got pregnant with LilyAnne (due to arrive shortly!!), and began homeschooling.
I think it's time for some rest.
I knew that praying for something like rest could be somewhat like praying for patience, if you know what I mean... but I covered my bases (so I thought), and petitioned God very specifically. I asked Him for financial blessing, for peace in our daily lives, for good behavior in my children, for unity in our marriage, for simplicity and ease... noticing a trend? I asked primarily for circumstances.
Y'all read about my kidney stone and multiple infection issues a little earlier in this pregnancy. I laughed a little bitterly during that time, and rather openly reminded God that laying in bed miserable wasn't exactly the kind of rest I had in mind... I wanted my HEART to rest, not just my body. In fact, I wanted both to rest at the same time.
Last week I was admitted to Labor and Delivery at our hospital for IV fluids and some tests, in an effort to get my amnionic fluid levels back up into the normal range (they were too low). I was stuck in bed again, this time with no distractions, no laundry, no pain, no puking, no fever... I found it really hard to rest. I missed my kids, and missed being able to scurry around like a wild-woman checking things off my list. I got a little extra time with my husband, which I'm grateful for, but in a much different context than I (again) had in mind.
After I was released home on partial bedrest, I found it difficult again to discipline myself into staying off my feet. I planted my chair (or cushion) in the middle of a mess or a project, and folded/organized, etc, from my sitting position (that still counts as "bed rest", right??).
On Sunday I mostly sat in my chair at church, except for a portion of the worship time. I have trouble sitting during worship... ok, I have trouble sitting in general, but especially during worship! Once my heart quieted, I apologized to God for not spending the time I was stuck in the hospital on Him. I realized I has mostly missed an opportunity to have some undistracted, craziness-free time with my Creator.
"It's okay, my daughter, I still spent the time on YOU."
oy.
"I'm teaching you that 'rest' is not circumstance... it's a posture of the heart. When your heart learns to rest, you can be at rest in any circumstance. While you carried Evelyn you learned that 'hope' is not based on circumstance, it's based on the knowledge of who I AM. Now it's time for you to learn that rest lies within that hope- which is unwavering because my character never changes."
God cares first and foremost about the condition of our hearts. He knows that when our hearts our His, they are protected and unshaken.
This year I will have my fifth baby, carry on in business with my husband, seek wisdom in being a wife, homeschool my two oldest,continue disciplining and training my boys, learn to train a little girl, serve in youth and worship, be busy and hardworking in my home, and in the middle of that hurricane... learn the heart posture of "rest".
What a mighty God we serve.
In our first year of marriage we moved, got pregnant, and I quit my job.
Just barely into our second year we had Jonathan, and Josh dipped his toes into youth ministry.
In our third year we had Henry, moved, and bought a business (that year was NUTS!).
In our fourth year we began gutting and remodeling a house with Josh's parents.
In our fifth year we briefly held Evelyn, moved again, and switched churches.
In our sixth year we had Ruby, bought a new machine for our business, dove head first into youth ministry and worship ministry.
In our seventh year we got pregnant with LilyAnne (due to arrive shortly!!), and began homeschooling.
I think it's time for some rest.
I knew that praying for something like rest could be somewhat like praying for patience, if you know what I mean... but I covered my bases (so I thought), and petitioned God very specifically. I asked Him for financial blessing, for peace in our daily lives, for good behavior in my children, for unity in our marriage, for simplicity and ease... noticing a trend? I asked primarily for circumstances.
Y'all read about my kidney stone and multiple infection issues a little earlier in this pregnancy. I laughed a little bitterly during that time, and rather openly reminded God that laying in bed miserable wasn't exactly the kind of rest I had in mind... I wanted my HEART to rest, not just my body. In fact, I wanted both to rest at the same time.
Last week I was admitted to Labor and Delivery at our hospital for IV fluids and some tests, in an effort to get my amnionic fluid levels back up into the normal range (they were too low). I was stuck in bed again, this time with no distractions, no laundry, no pain, no puking, no fever... I found it really hard to rest. I missed my kids, and missed being able to scurry around like a wild-woman checking things off my list. I got a little extra time with my husband, which I'm grateful for, but in a much different context than I (again) had in mind.
After I was released home on partial bedrest, I found it difficult again to discipline myself into staying off my feet. I planted my chair (or cushion) in the middle of a mess or a project, and folded/organized, etc, from my sitting position (that still counts as "bed rest", right??).
On Sunday I mostly sat in my chair at church, except for a portion of the worship time. I have trouble sitting during worship... ok, I have trouble sitting in general, but especially during worship! Once my heart quieted, I apologized to God for not spending the time I was stuck in the hospital on Him. I realized I has mostly missed an opportunity to have some undistracted, craziness-free time with my Creator.
"It's okay, my daughter, I still spent the time on YOU."
oy.
"I'm teaching you that 'rest' is not circumstance... it's a posture of the heart. When your heart learns to rest, you can be at rest in any circumstance. While you carried Evelyn you learned that 'hope' is not based on circumstance, it's based on the knowledge of who I AM. Now it's time for you to learn that rest lies within that hope- which is unwavering because my character never changes."
God cares first and foremost about the condition of our hearts. He knows that when our hearts our His, they are protected and unshaken.
This year I will have my fifth baby, carry on in business with my husband, seek wisdom in being a wife, homeschool my two oldest,continue disciplining and training my boys, learn to train a little girl, serve in youth and worship, be busy and hardworking in my home, and in the middle of that hurricane... learn the heart posture of "rest".
What a mighty God we serve.
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