My boy leaned his warm, wiggly body against mine. He really doesn't fit on my lap anymore, but I squeeze him on anyway. His legs dangle most of the way down mine, and his upper body just barely fits against my chest. The worship team started a new song, and his little hands reached to wrap my arms around his stomach. He wanted to be held tight, and he settled deeper against me. I was singing, and I knew from when I was a child that he could feel the vibrations of my song against his body. Something about holding your child during worship makes the whole scene more vibrant... it engages my heart differently than when I'm alone.
Then I felt something beautiful against my palm- the vibrations of HIS little voice! I squeezed his chest a little tighter against mine, and in unison our voices (and hearts) sang to our Creator. It was so brief, and so, so beautiful!
I was struck by the symbolism of what I had experienced: that must be a taste of what God feels when our hearts are lined up with His, and we're singing to Him... the unison, the unity, the deep, deep bond. It's no wonder He loves our worship!
My heart felt something else this week, too. One of my boys broke an elbow, and I heard an awful scream. Multiple times he has bumped it or fallen against it, and once (while bending down into his bed to give him his medicine) I bumped it too. He cries when it gets jarred, and my heart turns inside out. The night I sent him with Daddy to the ER I felt this the strongest- when my child is squirming and crying with pain I feel like throwing up, punching the nearest passer-by, sobbing, and throwing myself over him to absorb what he feels all at once.
I don't feel any bitterness about his fall happening because I know it's part of life in a fallen world. He's been a trooper (both the boys have been super brave about major injuries), and I've learned from the experience:
First, Daddies make the world go 'round. A successful, happy, peaceful, even manageable home life HINGES around an engaged, all-hands-on-deck Daddy. Shout out to the Daddy of our little Parkin clan... I would have zero sanity without you. You are the piece that settles all of life into order, the moment you walk in the door.
And second, that gut-inside-out, pukey/punchy/sobby, throw-myself-in-the-way-to-absorb-the-pain-for-him feeling... is what God feels when I hurt.
What a mighty God we serve!
Then I felt something beautiful against my palm- the vibrations of HIS little voice! I squeezed his chest a little tighter against mine, and in unison our voices (and hearts) sang to our Creator. It was so brief, and so, so beautiful!
I was struck by the symbolism of what I had experienced: that must be a taste of what God feels when our hearts are lined up with His, and we're singing to Him... the unison, the unity, the deep, deep bond. It's no wonder He loves our worship!
My heart felt something else this week, too. One of my boys broke an elbow, and I heard an awful scream. Multiple times he has bumped it or fallen against it, and once (while bending down into his bed to give him his medicine) I bumped it too. He cries when it gets jarred, and my heart turns inside out. The night I sent him with Daddy to the ER I felt this the strongest- when my child is squirming and crying with pain I feel like throwing up, punching the nearest passer-by, sobbing, and throwing myself over him to absorb what he feels all at once.
I don't feel any bitterness about his fall happening because I know it's part of life in a fallen world. He's been a trooper (both the boys have been super brave about major injuries), and I've learned from the experience:
First, Daddies make the world go 'round. A successful, happy, peaceful, even manageable home life HINGES around an engaged, all-hands-on-deck Daddy. Shout out to the Daddy of our little Parkin clan... I would have zero sanity without you. You are the piece that settles all of life into order, the moment you walk in the door.
And second, that gut-inside-out, pukey/punchy/sobby, throw-myself-in-the-way-to-absorb-the-pain-for-him feeling... is what God feels when I hurt.
What a mighty God we serve!
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