The Valley of the Shadow of Death

**pictures are mostly unrelated... they are just of the boys enjoying one of the last empty packing boxes.
Josh and I have been thoroughly enjoying hosting as many friends as possible in our new home! (Really, as many as possible. I think we've had about 4 days since we moved that we HAVEN'T had people over :) ) An elephant sometimes comes with our guests, and most people gently acknowledge it at some point: "So... we've heard about what happened to you...we're so sorry." I'm always glad when people aren't afraid to mention little Evelyn. I'm not afraid to talk about her, and I don't want you to feel awkward about her either.
One little family we hosted recently expressed along with our elephant, that they were apprehensive to surrender more of their hearts to God, for fear that He would put them through something awful. I didn't have the opportunity (or the words, at the time) to express my response, but it has been in my heart since, and I want to express it to all of you- not just them.

I've been thinking about marriage vs. singleness. I had a dream a few weeks ago that I was single- I think in the dream I had been engaged, but broke it off, and found myself wandering, feeling lost, sad, without purpose. I married young, so in real life I didn't have much of a "single" season, but I was grateful for that dream to remind me to pray for the heavy hearts of the single people I love. In the dream I also had fleeting feelings of excitement over being available to be discovered. But those feelings were definitely overshadowed by the wandering, feeling exposed. I have watched a handful of acquaintances in the last few years become bored with the security of marriage, and succumb to the lies that single life would be more exciting. So, so sad.
Don't get me wrong- marriage is hard, very hard, but VERY worthwhile.
We know that marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, and my thought is along that line. In the same way that most of us decided somewhere along the line that getting married would be worth it, complete surrender of our hearts to our Creator is worth it, too.
There is so much accountability in marriage- we can no longer do things completely for ourselves, without dire consequences. It is necessary to learn, year after year, how to deeply and intricately love someone that is wired so different from ourselves. Marriage is stretching, growing, surrendering. All of it worthwhile because out of it we first learn more about our God, and then gain the rewards of the deepest kind of human relationship.
I hope to convey that moving the knowledge of God from our heads to our HEARTs, is like getting married. Yes, that is choosing to learn to deeply and intricately serve(love!) Someone, which is hard (and scary!) work, but out of it we gain a deeper and deeper understanding of the love our invincible God has for us!
You all have walked with me in the hardest season of my life. In this season I learned: GOD TRULY IS ENOUGH. Through the hardest parts of life, you will get through if you let God walk closely with you. We often don't have a choice in what happens to us, but we do get to choose to either live half-heartedly, be destroyed, or together with our Creator- thrive.

A song my little boys love (the version we listen to is Peter Furler), taken from Psalm 23:
" ...though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me. "