Skip to main content

Teddy





So... Jonathan has this Teddy bear. It's not just any teddy, it's THE Teddy. He (and I ) has become emotionally attached to it, and I can totally see why: it's the kind of Teddy that ANY kid would fall in love with. Anybody remember Corduroy? Teddy looks like him. Grandma gave Teddy to Jonathan when he was born, and J became attached to him around 1 year old. Teddy came with us to the ER when Jonathan had a high fever (aug. '09), Teddy came with us to a family photo shoot with Caitlin Hooper (Cait Designs- look her up!), and Teddy has been snuggled, pee'd on, puked on, hugged, loved...
I remember the first time I washed Teddy. It was a rather emotional experience for me. I had to strategically plan when to wash him (he was becoming more stinky than I could ignore...), so that J could have him for both nap time and bed time. I don't think I told Jonathan that Teddy was going to be washed, but I felt SO GUILTY dunking him under the soapy warm water in my sink. I was too afraid to ruin him, so I didn't put him in our washer. I hung him over the shower curtain to dry, and the poor bear looked so forlorn, bent over up there all by himself! (and Jonathan didn't even know...)
I've gotten braver about keeping the bear clean, especially as Jonathan entered the wetting-his-bed stage of potty training. Teddy looks so loved already, that the washing machine actually makes him look BETTER instead of worse.
All this to say, I washed Teddy again today, and I still felt sad about it. I told Jonathan that he needed washing, and when I put him in the dryer, Jonathan came to watch. I set Teddy in so that he could peek out the front-loading door. I had Jonathan wave g'bye before closing it, and we both laughed as Teddy spun in circles!
It's so funny that I'm as attached to the bear as he is. I think it's because I see the bear as the symbol of childhood comfort. It brought me great pleasure when Henry formed a similar attachment to a Monkey that Jonathan had given him for Christmas. I love setting the boys next to eachother on the couch for a movie, both boys shamelessly clutching their not-so-fluffy-anymore animals. Oh, childhood simplicity... I aim to keep life a simple, fearless adventure for those little boys, as long as I can.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you:  Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old!  He adores his  brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her exis...
11 comments
Read more

Thank You

Thank you for walking alongside us, and for deeply crying out to God on our behalf. Tonight Josh and I held eachother with shaking arms, unable to breathe in our pain, with hot tears and groanings, deeper than we ever have. God is walking closely with us, teaching us, holding us. Thank you for being part of that. I can still feel little Evelyn Rose, she is still alive and moving- a continued miracle. As I sat down to pass on a little of this to some of you, here in the wee hours of the morning... in my husband's big sweatshirt, still wiping tears and snot on his sleeves (hope he doesn't mind... I'll just wash this sweatshirt before I give it back to him :) ), I had a photo file open on my desktop. I saw sweet little faces. Sweet, perfect little faces. What a joy and a privilege to raise two wild, wonderful boys. They are turning into such buddies, learning to appreciate eachother and play together instead of fighting, pushing, crying. They are innocent, energetic, curiou...
7 comments
Read more

Beautiful Redemption

This weekend I tasted sweet, sweet intentional redemption from our Father... Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more. This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible h...
7 comments
Read more