This weekend I tasted sweet, sweet intentional redemption from our Father...
Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more.
This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible how POWERFUL God's whispers are??). He said to me, "See that little ballerina in pink?" There was a blue one, yellow, orange... and pink. My eyes fixed on her beautiful, joyful movements. She danced and shined for her Father, beautiful and unashamed. "That's what she is doing, Anna."
When I was carrying Evelyn someone gave us a little pink pair of ballerina socks. We begged God to let her dance someday, believing that it would happen as a miracle on this earth. Those tiny, pink ballerina socks represented her invisible spot in our family for a long time.
I watched that elegant little dancer on stage, and marveled that Evelyn Rose was dancing just like that, in the PHYSICAL presence of the Father! What beautiful redemption to sit in that same seat, exactly one year later, with both my daughters present in their own way. God has showed me over and over again that He has not forgotten me, has not forgotten either of my daughters, and that He deeply and intricately LOVES me!
What a mighty God we serve.
Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more.
This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible how POWERFUL God's whispers are??). He said to me, "See that little ballerina in pink?" There was a blue one, yellow, orange... and pink. My eyes fixed on her beautiful, joyful movements. She danced and shined for her Father, beautiful and unashamed. "That's what she is doing, Anna."
When I was carrying Evelyn someone gave us a little pink pair of ballerina socks. We begged God to let her dance someday, believing that it would happen as a miracle on this earth. Those tiny, pink ballerina socks represented her invisible spot in our family for a long time.
I watched that elegant little dancer on stage, and marveled that Evelyn Rose was dancing just like that, in the PHYSICAL presence of the Father! What beautiful redemption to sit in that same seat, exactly one year later, with both my daughters present in their own way. God has showed me over and over again that He has not forgotten me, has not forgotten either of my daughters, and that He deeply and intricately LOVES me!
What a mighty God we serve.
Oh girl, this is so good! Love you!
ReplyDelete-Rebecca
Every time I see you and your 2nd baby girl I have thanked the Lord in my quiet prayers for blessing your family! Evelyn Rose had a huge impact on my own life and I never cease to imagine in my heart and mind how good of friends I feel Trinity and Evelyn would have been when they got older...she will always be deep in my heart! Now Ruby is here to remind me that HE is there and HE knows YOUR hearts desire! I just LOVE seeing her beautiful little self being loved on by SO many at church! Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Anna! :)
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful! How comforting to have the moment-by-moment presence of our Abba who actively and lovingly involved with our lives and hearts!
ReplyDeleteAwwwww - you made me cry too!
ReplyDeleteOh thank you Lord!! It blesses me so much to hear how He loves on His kids... how He spoke to you! Thanks for sharing how He's with you so lovingly, so faithfully! Love you friend
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet moment!
ReplyDelete