Hands

I don't raise my hands in church. I grew up super conservative, it's not my personality, and I haven't really budged about it.

Today during music/prayer we were asked to raise our hands if we needed God's touch: healing, a miracle... (Oh! me!) The music was still playing during all this, I had Henry on one hip which left one free hand. Up it went. I need healing, God's touch, a miracle! And I want it so badly! Most people only left their hands up for a moment or two, and then carried on with the music, but in my heart I felt like leaving it up ALL DAY, EVERYWHERE I GO, until God shows me somehow that He sees my hand raised! (like in school, when the teacher says, "yes, Johnny?") My hand raised wasn't at hip level- kinda low so no one would notice, but enough to be cooperating. My hand was high over my head, with my face tipped down, hiding under the shadow of my arm, hiding my tears. My husband wrapped his strong hand around my arm in silent agreement. Jonathan looked up at my tears with questions in his eyes, and Henry (my little pentecostal :)) raised his hand too, like Momma. It was a deep, emotional moment for our little family. Momma, Daddy, and both brothers representing little Evelyn before God.

In my heart I know He saw my hand raised.

This is all poetic and old-testament-Bible-ish, but bear with me- the truth in it remains the same:

¹O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
²You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
³You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
⁴Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
⁵You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
⁶Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
⁷Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
⁹If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
¹⁰Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
¹¹If I say, "Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,"
¹²Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.
¹³For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
¹⁴I will give thanks to You, forI am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in thedepths of the earth;
¹⁶Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
¹⁷How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

*from Psalm 139*

What promises we rest in.