Skip to main content

Big


When I was 18 I traveled half way across the world with my Uncle and his family to their home and mission field, Papua New Guinea. I was excited to experience such simple, beautiful, tribal life. I had arrangements to help teach a missionary family homeschool co-op, to help my cousins with their school work, to teach piano lessons, and to bring a handful of worship music to teach to the church.

One of the nights that we gathered portions of the church together to learn the new songs is burned vividly into my memory. I was SO green and young (and probably sunburned), standing up front with my keyboard and small, shaky voice. My God was with me, and with a deep breath of courage I taught them:

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God

 It was so, so incredible to look out into their black, black open faces. The children sat in front, and their eyes were wide and receptive. As soon as they could pick up the tune, they sang out with their whole hearts. After our worship time was over, I climbed into the back of the truck to ride back to my Uncle's house, my heart overflowing! We bumped and jostled along the rough road, the beautiful night air rushing through my hair. I leaned my head far out the side of the truck bed and drank in a different hemisphere's stars. It struck me- the God I worship is the same here! These people who I have come to love so deeply, know the SAME God I do! In that moment God became so much bigger to me- He was no longer just the God of my little life, of the things and people I have known. He became to me, God of it ALL- the world over!

And then it struck me:
 I am here to worship.
 I am here to bow down.
 I am here to say that You're my God!

I enjoyed teaching, the people I met, the food and places I experienced, but that moment was the most vivid and life-changing. We sang that song at church today. Every time we sing it, all these memories come rushing back to me. God is so, so big.


P.s. I did not take this photo. I wish I'd had a digital camera back then!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you:  Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old!  He adores his  brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her exis...

Thank You

Thank you for walking alongside us, and for deeply crying out to God on our behalf. Tonight Josh and I held eachother with shaking arms, unable to breathe in our pain, with hot tears and groanings, deeper than we ever have. God is walking closely with us, teaching us, holding us. Thank you for being part of that. I can still feel little Evelyn Rose, she is still alive and moving- a continued miracle. As I sat down to pass on a little of this to some of you, here in the wee hours of the morning... in my husband's big sweatshirt, still wiping tears and snot on his sleeves (hope he doesn't mind... I'll just wash this sweatshirt before I give it back to him :) ), I had a photo file open on my desktop. I saw sweet little faces. Sweet, perfect little faces. What a joy and a privilege to raise two wild, wonderful boys. They are turning into such buddies, learning to appreciate eachother and play together instead of fighting, pushing, crying. They are innocent, energetic, curiou...

Beautiful Redemption

This weekend I tasted sweet, sweet intentional redemption from our Father... Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more. This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible h...