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Healer

Her body was broken, but far worse her heart had been aching for far too long. She had felt waves of weariness, despair, unworthiness. She tired of praying for relief, and she faded into the crowd- unimportant, unseen, her beauty and value passed over. The deeper she fell into isolation, the deeper the enemy's lies penetrated into her heart.

A Healer passed through the crowd that had swallowed her up. He weaved through the throng of people, and she watched Him. She knew He carried hope and power. She knew He was gentle and magnificent. As unworthiness washed over her again, she held her tongue and quieted the urge to call out to Him. Her hope had not completely died. Desperation pressed her to reach out her hand as He passed. She was desperate to simply feel His passing.

She yanked back her hand and hid among the crowd again. She was tingling and warm, and assumed it was embarrassment for her bold move. Then the Healer stopped. He turned and called out to find the one that had touched him. She battled unworthiness again in her heart. She had prayed so long for healing, hearing only silence. She had given all she had, in the pursuit of health.

She didn't know that God had waited to heal her until the most special of encounters. He chose to heal her heart and her body at the same time. A brief moment of confidence, and she reached out her hand again, claiming the touch she had stolen. Face to face, the Healer called her out of the crowd. The people watched as He freely gave to her, restoring her inner and outward value. To Him she was worth it. To Him she was worth pausing His journey- SHE was part of His journey! She was worth noticing, worth speaking directly to, worth healing.

Today, as our Healer walked among the rows of chairs full of believers reaching out to touch Him in worship, I found myself that woman. I found my heart begging, "Just gently brush me on Your way by..."  It was weariness and feelings of unworthiness that kept my heart asking for only that much.

But the Healer died for me, turned the universe upside down for me, that I might see Him face to face. So often, lost in lies from the enemy, I forget that He gives freely. Restore my inner and outward value, oh God. Pause and take notice of me, remind me that to You I am not unworthy. Remind me that I don't have to wait until death and Heaven to encounter You. Speak to me gently, restore my wounded heart.

Our God  wants to do so much more than simply let us watch Him pass by.  In His eyes you are not unworthy of His attention. Don't hold back your heart- call out to the Healer!

The story I'm referring to can be found in Matthew 9, Mark 5, and Luke 8.

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