Skip to main content

Beautiful


...I'm not planning on posting every day. I just don't have the time. BUT- my husband has whisked away our sweet little boys, and left me with quiet time alone with God and Evelyn- with coffee. :)

Dear sweet Evelyn Rose-
Today you went with me to the zoo. I know you didn't see any of it, but the sun felt good on my skin, and both your brothers (and friends!) seemed to have a great time! I re-connected with a friend today that I met almost 10 years ago! She's one of those women full of goodness, gentleness- full to the brim! You'll get to meet her someday, too, for sure.
Last night our small group prayed over you and sang for you. Could you hear my voice? I sang with all I could, knowing you would feel the vibrations, hoping they would be comforting to you. Everyone's prayers felt good to my spirit. One woman thanked God for the sweet aroma you have given us already. It's so perfect that your middle name is Rose, because you really do give off a sweet fragrance- the existence of you life is beautiful, fragile, and temporary- just like a rose.
We sang several Hymns for you, but the song that meant the most to me was "Jesus loves me". I'm going to sing it to you, if I ever get the chance- face to face, just how us girls like to be. The song says, "little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong". You have made that so clear to all of us. Both of those things are what I told our Doctors when they told me you have no medical chance of life beyond my womb: I told them that babies are Gods and not ours, and that God is bigger and stronger than chromosome disorders. It was very tender for me to hear those truths put to the words and music of a child's song. That song I could barely sing, but I did, hoping someday you would understand it all. You have changed the way I see everything, little Evelyn Rose. Your life is beautiful.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you:  Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old!  He adores his  brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her existenc
11 comments
Read more

How great the Father's love for us...

Evelyn has changed everything. She has changed the way I think, the way I see my boys, the way I approach people, and most importantly she has changed my understanding of the depth of God's love. Yesterday the teacher at our church taught on John 3:16... which I have heard hundreds of times. BUT- yesterday (and today!), and from now on, it means more to me. The verse says this, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son..." WHAT?!?! I've heard that, quoted that, referenced that, but now, being asked to give up one of MY children, I see just a little more deeply how God loves me. Having felt the searing pain of being asked to give up a child, my response is so different to reading again that God CHOSE to give up His only child! ...and for me, the little girl I'm being asked to give up will go straight from the safety of my womb to the permanent safety of His arms (unless God gives us a miracle!). But for God, when He gave up Jesus, He sent Him here, kn
6 comments
Read more

Evelyn Rose

It's time to write about Evelyn Rose. We knew I was pregnant around Thanksgiving 2010 (no test, we just knew!). We waited to tell family until Christmas, and had our first Dr. appointment in January '11. In march we had an ultrasound and discovered we were having a girl! After a couple hours of high excitement and celebration over our coming baby girl, I received a phone call from our Doctor. She had hard news for me- that our little girl was very small, and her brain was not forming right. We scheduled an ultrasound with a specialist, and prayed deeply for a week, for healing. During that week I prepared myself for a miracle, and also reached a place where I was overjoyed to take care of her, regardless of her condition. I did not prepare myself to lose her. At our next appointment we met with a "genetic counselor", and I let most of what she said roll off of me, thinking it would not apply to us. We loved seeing her during the ultrasound- her feet, hands, face, eye
9 comments
Read more