The Snag

 Are you tired of hearing about sickness yet?

   

 Seems like a swirl of illness has been making its way through all the pods of community around us. Despite all our elderberry and all the home remedies this grow-your-own geek Mama could muster, the germs entered our household too. 

  The big ones were down first, a sister shortly after. Then the Little Bear, and Papa Bear. One sister and I escaped, and eventually even the combination of our introverted selves and a can't-go-anywhere week finally gave way to some restlessness. She began begging to be dropped off at a friend's house, and I think I inwardly begged the same- ha! 

  I hadn't quite counted the cost of it all. The week wrapped up, and the nights settled, but the sour and the "hey Mama"s continued. All of a sudden my heart began to resist. The quiet, restful days had been nice for a little while. I got some projects done that I don't have time for during full-swing school at the table. However... my heart had snagged on a little thing that began to rip open all I felt I had done to serve my family. 

It went like this: 

"Kiddo, I started the bath water for you upstairs."

"NOOOooooOOOOO!!!" *full groan*

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"Drink some more water, it will help clear out the congestion."

"I don't FEEL like drinking water, it DOESN'T HELP." *sour face*

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   Your house sounds like that during sick bugs, right?? (Tell me it does!!) After days and days had passed, and my heart weathered a bit, that's where I got hung up. I felt unappreciated for the care I had given, and even deeper, I felt resisted and resented for it. 

   My loving husband sent me to church with the well ones on Sunday. I was definitely skipping out the door- a bit with my tail tucked due to my weathered heart showing through in the most unbecoming ways that morning. I sat in the bright, beautiful sanctuary, and drank in the worship, the smiling faces, and the community that has rallied. I felt grateful, and then I understood. 

   How often do I resist His loving care? How often do I resent His (wise, lofty, higher-than-mine) instructions? Oh goodness. 

  I told more than one kiddo more than once that week, "I'm doing this because it will make you well faster."  "Trust me, this will help you heal."

  Oh goodness. 

  His heart is FOR us. His instructions are FOR us. And sometimes I get so caught up in my own inward illness that I don't embrace what He offers for healing, for wellness, for caring for the soul He made in me. I flop around in my own misery, whining about the things that aren't the way they should be- the sore throats and fevers of practical and spiritual life. 

  Friends, we know the Healer, the Great Physician. We have access to wisdom untold, healing undiscovered, LIFE unhindered. 

  Our guest preacher taught on repentance, and the full turning- both FROM darkness, and TO light. He hilighted how just turning FROM can slip into falling away again, but when we turn TO, and grasp the healing way the Lord provides, it leads to life. How timely for me! 

  Help me, oh God, to grasp Your goodness. Help me to stop writhing against Your instruction, Your path to healing and LIFE. Help me to lean in more and more, to trust that life comes from Your ways.

I love the book of Isaiah SO much- this is Chapter 55:

“Come, everyone who thirsts,

    come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without price.

2 

Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

    and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

    and delight yourselves in rich food.

3 

Incline your ear, and come to me;

    hear, that your soul may live;

and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,

    my steadfast, sure love for David.

4 

Behold, I made him a witness to the peoples,

    a leader and commander for the peoples.

5 

Behold, you shall call a nation that you do not know,

    and a nation that did not know you shall run to you,

because of the Lord your God, and of the Holy One of Israel,

    for he has glorified you.

6 

“Seek the Lord while he may be found;

    call upon him while he is near;

7 

let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the Lord, that he may have compassion on him and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon. 

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

 

“For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven

    and do not return there but water the earth,

making it bring forth and sprout,

    giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

 

so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;

    it shall not return to me empty,

but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,

    and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.

“For you shall go out in joy

    and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and the hills before you

    shall break forth into singing,

    and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

 

Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress;

    instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle;

and it shall make a name for the Lord,

    an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”