Grateful Acres

This morning I sat in church and reflected on the last few Mothers Days... A funny tid-bit I realized is that I have been pregnant on Mothers Day FOUR times! My first Mothers day was confusing for my heart. I was 8 months pregnant with Jonathan, and considered myself a mom! Life begins at conception, and a pregnant Momma is giving all her strength and energy to her baby... but not everyone sees it that way. The next year Jonathan was almost 1, and I was 5 months pregnant with Henry. The next year I had my boys, and was not pregnant (haha, you might be a mom if... you measure passing years with whether you were pregnant or not :) ). I thought a lot about last year: last year I was still carrying Evelyn. Last year was such a strange paradox of pain and blessing... I was so surrounded by life in my little boys, and so close to tasting Evelyn's death. I'm so, so grateful that I got to hold her on the inside on one Mothers Day. Evelyn's birthday is this Friday, and I p...

...woah, two posts in a row! :) Today I had some sweet moments with the boys God is lending me. Henry is my early riser (early has been transformed-after much diligent...diligentness- from 5:45 to more like 6:30 or occasionally later). I've been making it a point to be up before the boys when possible, but during the morning-sick stage of pregnancy, I've deemed it "not possible", so I've been waking up to little clunking noises through the baby monitor. Henry used to get up and stand in front of the door and cry (since it's dark still...), but as he grows he has started to go for the toy cupboard and pull out bins of motorcycles and race cars. I try to catch him as quickly as I can and depending on the time, either ask him to lay in his bed a little longer or whisk him away to let brother sleep. This morning it was in the window of "lay in his bed a little longer", so I got him tucked back into the soft darkness, and camped out on the floor outside ...

Today is my Momma's birthday! You know the saying, "If friends were flowers, I'd pick you"? Well... if people were food, my mom would be Ramen. Simple, enjoyable, and my regular go-to :) I have never once doubted my mom's love for me and my siblings, and she has poured SO much into us over the years. I wish I could've thrown a big, fancy party for my mom, but instead we had a small, pleasant family party for her tonight- which I think is more her style anyway :) We had Tacos, per her request, and carrot cake, and peach-blackberry pie! ..."Happy Pancake", Momma :) Blackberry-Peach Pie! Grandma and her grandsons I liked this, because I really like my mom's hands... I remember them so distinctly from when I was a kid, and no MY kid is holding her hand! :) Yes, my mom is 36. :) ...Happy Pancake to you... What a great smile!!

...sometimes I feel like I might only survive raising two boys who are 15 months apart- narrowly escape insanity, but just a few gray hairs. :) Sometimes everyone is crying noisily at once. Sometimes we all try functioning on way too little sleep. Lots of the time I'm flying by the seat of my pants, trying out whatever advice I can collect. Often I see how desperately I need the calm, peace, consistency of my Creator. Often I wonder if it's working- if my boys will turn out alright, or be little hoodlums forever. Sometimes I can only laugh (inwardly?) at what I find when I enter a room. Sometimes I call for backup. Always, always, every day, in the middle of WHATEVER, two sets of round, beautiful, blue eyes look into mine, and it all vanishes. They look up, up at me, with tears, smiles, naughty intent, curiosity, confusion, giggles... and I'm completely consumed with love again. Sometimes I hold them a little longer, just to savor the snuggles that will so...

When I hang up my apron after 10 pm, 3 days in a row- it's been a good week :) I've been canning like a wild-woman! The last few days has been apple pie filling (new for me this year!), crock-pot apple butter (also new), and crock-pot applesause (...also new. ). My mom and I have done applesauce together, but we've never tried it in the crock pot. So far, I love it!! After the apple pie filling, I did the apple butter (sauce is cooling on the counter right now)- chopped up 10 apples, tossed them in the crock pot with a little water, lots of sugar, cinnamon, cloves and nutmeg, and turned it on high for 5ish hours (stirring occasionally). I put it all in the crock pot during nap time, and strained out the peels and canned it after the kids went to bed- easiest canning I've ever done.  ...also the only canning I've ever done by myself! My mom picked up a canning pot this week to be my very own, and my mom-in-law bought me the tongs/funnel/etc last year for Christmas....

...It's time to tell the Devil he's barking up the wrong tree. Do what you will to me, I AM NOT SWITCHING SIDES. Hand me the sorrows and loss you have intended to destroy me, I WILL NOT DENY MY CREATOR. I've blogged about this before, but it's time again. There have been too many children lost in our community. Accidents, still births, and lots and lots of miscarriages. It's STILL happening! I know a portion of that is "just life", but the frequency and depth of sorrow we are seeing, leads me to believe that the enemy has his eye on us. I don't know theologically how that all works out,  but I do see a pattern. A dear friend  of mine reminded me just the other day of the times in the Bible when the killing of children occurred: RIGHT BEFORE SOMETHING GREAT. Think of when Israel was enslaved to Egypt. Orders were given to kill all male, Hebrew babies. Lots and lots of babies were killed! But Moses survived and in partnering with God, years later f...

I'm thinking of making some changes. First, it's time cut the hair again! I have at least a whole inch of grow-out, and when I run my fingers through the length of my hair, I can feel it thinning towards the bottom, from all the pony-tails my hair has been forced into. I'm thinking of going short again... :) The next changes I'm contemplating might seem a little "duh", but bear with me. My parents watched our boys the other night so Josh and I could go out for a friend's birthday dinner, and I could tell the boys were feeling a little "squirrely" when we left. They've been a little wound up lately (a little?), and honestly I've been a little grumpy lately- ya know those days when nothing fits, and all you want is chocolate and coffee?... Anyway, I was "debriefing" with my dad, about how the boys did that evening, and he had some thoughts for me: Kids thrive on routine. That's why they like the same songs over and over...

You never know who might be impacted by what you say. Tonight I had an incredible conversation with my 3 yr old. We brought some Birthday cake to one of the Jr. highers at Daddy's youth group, and stayed through the worship time. Our pastor, Jack, shared something with the group about Jesus really being there, and encouraged them to close their eyes and really think about that during the worship time. ...and my wiggly 3 yr. old heard him. My boys have been waking up at night crying (which I think they are a little old now, for that to be a regular thing), and I've been praying and brainstorming about how to help them sleep more peacefully. In fact, I just had a conversation with my mom about it this afternoon. She suggested praying with them before bed, which I haven't been super consistent about. Sometimes, when I suspect that they will have a rough night, I will kneel at their door, with my arms spread toward each bed, and ask that God send an angel to spread it's w...

Most of these pictures are unrelated, just fall-ish :) The boys helped me bake today: Bits-n-pieces of upcoming Birthday baking: ...I love mini-pumpkins! half the height of the sunflowers! (the short one farthest to the left is the one that Henry planted in previous posts) A moment in which time seemed to stand still... the boys sat quietly together on their leggo suitcase, looking out the window and listening to music: A bouquet of the sunflowers I learned from :) Yup. Today, I learned from my sunflowers. I was feeling weary after a day of calm, consistent discipline (...for the most part?), so after dinner I excused myself to go gather some of the last crop from my garden. After gathering a handful of cherry tomatoes, peeking at my pumpkins, and plucking a few zuccini, my sunflowers greeted me rather wearily themselves. Some of them leaned wilted and tired looking against the fence, and others were face-down in the dirt. Sunflowers are interesting plants. These ar...