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Rocking


We are celebrating Jonathan's 3rd birthday today! Jonathan still lets/wants me to rock him before bed, and when I was rocking him recently I was thinking about when I rocked him as an infant... and how at the time I couldn't imagine him as big as he is now...

Another thought about rocking, very much related: The boys are still adjusting to our new place, and with Henry that means he wants "upa?" even more than normal (to be carried). I've been racing around like a wild-woman trying to get our house unpacked before all the birthday parties this weekend, so on the particular day I'm thinking of, I didn't initially want to take the time to pause my racing and hold Henry. I had turned on a CD in the kitchen, hoping the calming songs would soothe my wild boys into playing in a bit more contained, less destructive manner. I stood in the kitchen and complied with Henry's "upa?" request, and started rocking to the music. He nestled in, and we listened... the CD playing was a "soothing songs" mix that Josh had made for me to rock Jonathan to, when he was tiny. My mind went two places: one, back to the early days of my Mommy-hood. The sweet, sweet memories of discovering how it feels to hold and infant that is your own. My mind also went back to the season my family and I are just coming out of, during which, my prayers were much like Henry's current request. I just wanted to be lifted, carried, held. I'm sure God's heart loves holding a child of His own, just as much as mine does. I want to remember to ask God to lift, carry, hold me, even when I am not in a dark season. Not just for comfort, because I can't survive without it, but just for closeness.

What a privilege to have both my sons still WANT me to rock them.

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