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Hard Things.




These pictures have nothing to do with this post... they are just pictures of a rare, sweet moment that happened recently. My boys hardly ever sit still, and definitely not long enough to snuggle with eachother. HOWEVER, they were SO tired after 2 hours in their pool that they sunk into eachother as they had juice and enjoyed a veggie tales. I simply had to take pictures :)

Anyway...
I've learned recently that hard things are often not for the person going through them. I realized this by seeing that Evelyn's life was not intended for me... her life was for many, many others. When I learned I was carrying a little girl, my heart lept with a sudden list of thing I wanted to experience with her: ponytails, dolls, dresses, nail painting, watching her Daddy love a little girl and her brothers protect a little sister, and for me- the hope of a dear, forever friend.
It's been quite the process to let go of the memories I won't have with her, and to replace them with the sweet, intangible aroma of how she touches others' lives for good.
Thank you, to those of you who have expressed to me or my husband how you have been touched, changed, grown by my little girl. Each time I hear that from someone new, I hear my God gently whispering... "I had a purpose for her life: here's part of it. I had a purpose for her life: here's part of it..."

God has me covered through all this- He's not hanging me out to dry. A new person in my life (Shelly!!) has been able to use their hard time for my sake. I met Shelly only a few weeks before I found out that little Evelyn's life was in danger. I knew nothing of Shelly's story, but the sunday before that ultrasound, God (the God that is walking with me!) prompted me to ask Shelly to pray for me and my baby. I explained to her that I had been feeling fear that my baby was not healthy, and she prayed over me, and told me a piece of her story. Shelly lost a little girl, in the same way I did, about 7 years ago. At the time, her story felt like it had no purpose, but now we both see that part of HER baby girl's purpose was to help ME! Shelly has walked near me through this whole thing, blessing me, praying for me, encouraging me, speaking truth to me, and sharing deeply her own experience. Praise God for using our hard times to bless other people.

A tiny word of encouragement to those of you in your own hard place: keep the faith, and know that God HAS A PURPOSE. Even if that purpose is for someone else.

God is faithfully healing me, too. I wrote this whole post without tears! I do still cry sometimes, but it's different than it was. Praise our faithful God.

Comments

  1. EllieJune 9, 2011 at 5:14 AM

    Great reminder coming at the perfect time.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

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