I've begun this post several times, and I'm just not sure I can get the words out right... it makes sense in my head, so bear with me.
I've spent so, so much time watching the people I love grieve. I've watched them reel at the shock and horror of brutal, unexpected loss, which gave way to more loss. My husband and his family have been through now 4 losses in the last 6 years: murder, suicide, Evelyn's still birth, and now they are in the muck of it all again, having just lost their oldest and most respected member.
There's no way to describe what I feel as I sit with them in an oddly still room, surrounding someone they freshly lost, all of them still in shock and horror at what they had just seen. There are no words for watching their bodies and hearts wretch with each wave of pain that comes... tall, strong men bent in grief, wrinkled and fresh faces both twisted with pain that will only fade with time.
As I look in their eyes, dull and numb with it all, I can see into their hearts. There's something so raw about fresh grief. What to say, to bring hope... I ache for them, that they may breathe in hope each time they come up for a breath...
I've been processing all this, as I walk alongside them again, and I realized something. We often talk about God's amazing capacity for forgiveness, how He could pour it all on His Son, for us. I've been realizing God's INCREDIBLE capacity to carry the world's sorrow. He watches us- EACH ONE OF US- as we walk through each time of sorrow... He looks into our eyes and sees our souls, He KNOWs the ache each person feels, and He longs that we breathe hope with each breath.
As I walk alongside half my family as they grieve yet again, my heart breaking with them, I marvel that God walks alongside the WHOLE world, and bears all that grief, all that sorrow... and has enough strength left to put each piece back together, to make it all come around whole in some way.
WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE.
This is me, with sweet, hilarious, honorable Robert (Bob) Elmer Kile... Great Grandpa Kile. See you on the other side, Great Grandpa... until then, give my daughter kisses on my behalf! (and you now have permission to put up Christmas lights, now that there's no risk of falling. :) )
I've spent so, so much time watching the people I love grieve. I've watched them reel at the shock and horror of brutal, unexpected loss, which gave way to more loss. My husband and his family have been through now 4 losses in the last 6 years: murder, suicide, Evelyn's still birth, and now they are in the muck of it all again, having just lost their oldest and most respected member.
There's no way to describe what I feel as I sit with them in an oddly still room, surrounding someone they freshly lost, all of them still in shock and horror at what they had just seen. There are no words for watching their bodies and hearts wretch with each wave of pain that comes... tall, strong men bent in grief, wrinkled and fresh faces both twisted with pain that will only fade with time.
As I look in their eyes, dull and numb with it all, I can see into their hearts. There's something so raw about fresh grief. What to say, to bring hope... I ache for them, that they may breathe in hope each time they come up for a breath...
I've been processing all this, as I walk alongside them again, and I realized something. We often talk about God's amazing capacity for forgiveness, how He could pour it all on His Son, for us. I've been realizing God's INCREDIBLE capacity to carry the world's sorrow. He watches us- EACH ONE OF US- as we walk through each time of sorrow... He looks into our eyes and sees our souls, He KNOWs the ache each person feels, and He longs that we breathe hope with each breath.
As I walk alongside half my family as they grieve yet again, my heart breaking with them, I marvel that God walks alongside the WHOLE world, and bears all that grief, all that sorrow... and has enough strength left to put each piece back together, to make it all come around whole in some way.
WHAT A MIGHTY GOD WE SERVE.
My prayers are with you and your family. <3 -R.
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