God always knows...
This has been the dreaded husband-out-of-town week! I had been bracing myself for this week, knowing it was going to be a test, in so many ways.
I have never been more grateful to be not sleeping well, have a giant belly, be in pain all the time, have swollen hands and feet, and literally no space for a bladder, as I am now :) However, these things do add difficulty to maintaining consistency in child-raising... My body has taken a beating this week, because often my times of needed-rest were replaced with marching a child off to receive "correction". I think my heart took a bit of a beating as well. As I let myself feel alone, I began to also feel discouragement and defeat. I have, in fact, not been alone in so many ways: both Grandmas, and my brothers have been over to help out here-n-there, as well as friends that have offered to let my kids make a mess at their place while her and I chat over coffee. But most of all, my God has not forgotten me.
The same God that walked SO closely with me, each breath of the way while I carried our tiny, dying Evelyn, walked with me this week. The same God that cares for the beautiful, starving people of Africa, that has watched His world massacre eachother in the name of war, that could be so busy sorting out the seemingly much bigger problems on earth... took the time to place whispers of encouragement in my path, over and over...
During the days where I felt the most defeated, God sent someone completely removed from my child-rearing world to speak uplifting words to me. The words were encouraging, but knowing God took the time to orchestrate them meant even more.
Today I took my wild little indians for a walk to "visit the sheep" (we have neighbors down the street that have a field of sheep- Henry in particular LOVES them). Jonathan wanted to ride his bike (he's big enough to do that!?!?!), and Henry was happy to be on his scooter (again...what?!). I walked along behind them, asking them to stop and wait every-so-many mailbox clusters, and took it all in. It was gloriously sunny, but not hot enough to make me swell more than normal, and the walking felt good. Jonathan's tall, lean frame sat proudly on his red bike. I could see in his posture, even from behind, that he felt very much like a big kid! Henry often trailed behind, since his legs are shorter, and his big-cheeked, round blue-eyed, helmeted face wore the same proud expression I saw in Jonathan's posture. My spirit took the chance to take a deep breath, and fully take in the God walking with us.
This week was hard, often VERY hard, but in the hubub of a whole world's concerns,
God never forgot me.
This has been the dreaded husband-out-of-town week! I had been bracing myself for this week, knowing it was going to be a test, in so many ways.
I have never been more grateful to be not sleeping well, have a giant belly, be in pain all the time, have swollen hands and feet, and literally no space for a bladder, as I am now :) However, these things do add difficulty to maintaining consistency in child-raising... My body has taken a beating this week, because often my times of needed-rest were replaced with marching a child off to receive "correction". I think my heart took a bit of a beating as well. As I let myself feel alone, I began to also feel discouragement and defeat. I have, in fact, not been alone in so many ways: both Grandmas, and my brothers have been over to help out here-n-there, as well as friends that have offered to let my kids make a mess at their place while her and I chat over coffee. But most of all, my God has not forgotten me.
The same God that walked SO closely with me, each breath of the way while I carried our tiny, dying Evelyn, walked with me this week. The same God that cares for the beautiful, starving people of Africa, that has watched His world massacre eachother in the name of war, that could be so busy sorting out the seemingly much bigger problems on earth... took the time to place whispers of encouragement in my path, over and over...
During the days where I felt the most defeated, God sent someone completely removed from my child-rearing world to speak uplifting words to me. The words were encouraging, but knowing God took the time to orchestrate them meant even more.
Today I took my wild little indians for a walk to "visit the sheep" (we have neighbors down the street that have a field of sheep- Henry in particular LOVES them). Jonathan wanted to ride his bike (he's big enough to do that!?!?!), and Henry was happy to be on his scooter (again...what?!). I walked along behind them, asking them to stop and wait every-so-many mailbox clusters, and took it all in. It was gloriously sunny, but not hot enough to make me swell more than normal, and the walking felt good. Jonathan's tall, lean frame sat proudly on his red bike. I could see in his posture, even from behind, that he felt very much like a big kid! Henry often trailed behind, since his legs are shorter, and his big-cheeked, round blue-eyed, helmeted face wore the same proud expression I saw in Jonathan's posture. My spirit took the chance to take a deep breath, and fully take in the God walking with us.
This week was hard, often VERY hard, but in the hubub of a whole world's concerns,
God never forgot me.
Comments
Post a Comment