Skip to main content

Labor Pains

My little family ((are we still considered "little??")) had lunch with a dear friend of mine yesterday, who is just-about-due pregnant with her first little boy. We had beautiful conversation about children, marriage, family, relationships, and -of course- labor and delivery. I revisited our conversation a lot in my head, and today some things fell into place in my heart.

Recently I've been asked to walk through a tough situation. Unfortunately I must be rather vague about it, but I hope that what I can describe to you makes sense. I have felt my heart aching and groaning under the strain and pain of what I'm walking through. Today I was struck by the similarities between my situation and labor pains... the ebb and flow of pressure and pain, all with a goal in mind. As I mentally walked back through my four labor experiences,  my heart came to rest on a particular stage of labor. I thought most about the stage when my mind begins to resist the labor. When labor first begins I am so excited that I'm happy to feel the pain, and I lean in to each wave of pressure, focused on the joy of the end result! As my body and my mind wear down, and as the pain rises to it's peak (right before it's all over!), my mind begins to resist... I experienced this mental shift with both the boys, with Evelyn, and also with Ruby. I was most prepared for Ruby's labor, and I had spent time training my mind to join the labor instead of resisting it, so I had a plan when I reached that stage of inner panic. Instead of resisting, I sat upright and leaned forward, wrapping my arms around my husband, grabbing handfuls of his shirt and burying my head in his chest. I fully embraced the climax of pressure and pain, breathing, clinging, letting the waves wash over me as I leaned in to my man.

That is the stage I'm in, in this trial I've been asked to walk through. I know it's almost over, but deep inside me I ache to resist these final waves of pressure and pain. Today God spoke to me, and asked me to sit upright, lean forward, wrap my arms around Him, and grab fistfuls of any part of Him that I can. He reminded me that in these final waves I must bury my face in HIS chest, dig my fingers in to HIS garment, and cling to HIM with all I can muster, until it's all over and I receive what I have been laboring for.

Clinging to my husband like that during labor didn't ease the pain, it refocused my heart. The same is true with this trial: as I lean in, clinging desperately to my Creator, the pain and pressure does not disappear.
But I am comforted, refocused, and my heart shifts into place.

I understand, a little more:
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:13

What a mighty God we serve.

Comments

  1. <3 This blessed my heart, and brought tears to my eyes. I am so amazed at the beautiful way that God speaks to you and the grace and loveliness with which you express it. Thank you for sharing. <3 -R.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Refocusing your heart. I like that. Thanks for being so encouraging, Anna, just by expressing your struggles and what God is teaching you!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beautiful Redemption

This weekend I tasted sweet, sweet intentional redemption from our Father... Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more. This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible h...

Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you:  Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old!  He adores his  brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her exis...

V formation

I'm sure you've seen birds fly in "V" formation.  Know why? The bird in front breaks the wind, and the flapping of it's wings generates an updraft for the birds behind, making it easier for them to fly. Birds rotate being the front-bird so that each can have a turn working to lead the pack, and have time to rest in the updraft of another.  Birds also have to be positioned strategically in order to gain the updraft rather than the accompanying down-draft. Their wings have to be in sync with each other, and close together. Read about it here, if you like... http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-25736049 This week my man was a front-bird. He and I have the joy of leading worship together often, and in the days proceeding his turn leading, we feel the resistance. There is so much joy in what we do together, him as the front-bird in worship, and me close behind him- surveying the open sky before us, feeling the support and resonance of the rest of the fl...