This has been one strange pregnancy. Baby girl looks fabulous, is measuring to a decent size (and by decent I mean she may be a big one!), and is moving happily and peacefully in her warm, safe space. My body, however, has been on the fritz.
The first two go-arounds (haha, get it...) were textbook-boring. My doctor teased me about it each appointment, lovingly, and with deep wisdom. I had some usual aches and pains, weak bladder, swelling, 18-point-turn to roll over at night, but I passed every test, and nothing alarming or unusual happened at all. Raising my boys has given me lots of grey hair already, but carrying them was the least of it!
Most of you know my story with Evelyn. Carrying her was more a spiritual season than a physical one. I passed the 28 week mark this pregnancy a handful of weeks ago (28 weeks was when I delivered Evelyn), and thought of her. I looked at my round belly and all that comes with that, and remembered how different her presence inside me was. Her body was but a whisper, but her spiritual presence in my life was (and is) booming.
Ruby was a promise, and with her came such joy and peace. She sat low in my abdomen, causing pain in the nerves in my back and legs, but I couldn't be happier! She was born while I was laughing, and she is delightfully happy even now. Carrying her seemed to fly by, faster than all the rest, even though I could feel my body beginning to wear a little from growing humans inside.
I'm between 31 and 32 weeks now with LilyAnne, and I can hardly wait to hold her body against the OUTSIDE of my skin! Each pregnancy I begin to ache to discover the soul inside, and the ache is most certainly strengthening this time!
My doctor told me that my thyroid levels were off, and that we'd keep an eye on it. I've been having extra ultrasounds because the placenta is very close to my cervix. It's moved away some as my abdomen stretches and grows, but is still under close watch. I failed my first glucose test (for the first time!), and had to go back for the 3-hour lab test.
A few weeks ago I started feeling a cramp-ish feeling in my right, lower back. I thought baby was situated funny and tried different things to get comfortable. I laid on my side, tried a heating pad, my husband rubbed my back, and finally I got into a bath. By then the pain had turned into a rolling, tightening sensation starting in my back and rolling across my belly in repeated waves. I was a little nervous, having never felt anything like it, even after all the hours of laboring for my other kids. It was only medium-level pain, just a really strange feeling.
I called the on-call doctor, and she said to take tylenol as needed but just to rest for the night (unless regular contractions started), and come in in the morning. My doctor examined me and ran some tests, speculating that the pain was pregnancy-caused kidney stones. She also diagnosed a bacterial infection tested for a UTI (urinary tract infection). She scheduled an ultrasound to look at my kidney for early the next week (first opening we could get!). Over that weekend I experienced a handful more few-hour-chunks of pain, with mild pain throughout the days. My ultrasound was scheduled for Tuesday afternoon, and in the middle of the night on Monday night I took a turn for the worse. I woke up with chills and fever, and knew the infections had taken hold. (My doctor had confirmed UTI, and prescribed meds that we were going to pick up the next day) In the morning I tried a little breakfast, but soon after started throwing up. My mom was available to come help (WAHOO FOR MOMS!!!), and started the 2 1/2 hour drive right away. My husband drove my shadow to the ultrasound, and to pick up my meds. My doctor cautioned me that I was borderline for being hospitalized, and gave strict instructions to get that medicine in my body fast! Over the next day or so I struggled to keep the medicine (or anything!) down, and to stay hydrated. I got sicker, and sicker, and the fever kept spiking between doses of tylenol (I REALLY don't like taking medicine, but there was less danger to baby from the medicine than there was from the sickness, so meds won). Every so often I called in to the doctor to monitor my progress and weigh how close we were to the go-to-the-hospital zone. 48 hrs after beginning the medicine, I began to show improvement. I could eat small amounts, keep water down, and most importantly keep medicine down. My fever began to dwindle even without tylenol, and the chills and shivers were replaced with weary, sore muscles. I still had trouble sleeping because of different forms of discomfort, but was happy to be able to be around my children again. (HOORAH for my husband, who put on his Super-Dad cape!!!)
Strangely enough, the hardest part of all that wasn't the pain or the horrid combo of fever/vomit, it was the inability to be... me. I had been a shadow all week, and I felt like a shell. I ached to be able to love on my husband and children, instead of listlessly looking at them from a distance. I needed the strength to discipline and train my rascally little rabbits, and my personality mentally mulled over each mess or chore that I couldn't do.
Sunday I was strong enough to go to church and sit (I was exhausted after, though!). In that stillness I told God all about how I was feeling and my wrestling against my weakened body. He is so patient, so thorough, so beyond me... He told me that in the temporary deficit my illness created, that He was working. He told me that it created a unique, and temporary space for Him to work on little projects of His own.
He never falls ill, no circumstance is beyond His redemption, He never misses a thing... even in hardship or pain, He is sowing beauty and growth that are below the surface. His business is not primarily circumstance- He is first after the heart. So while my circumstances and my body were dim, light was shining into deeper places.
I don't know yet all the places He reached during that time, but
what a Mighty God we serve!
P.s. Thank you to those of you that prayed me through that week! I'm feeling much closer to "full-strength", and I'm so grateful!
Comments
Post a Comment