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Mothers Day

This morning I sat in church and reflected on the last few Mothers Days...

A funny tid-bit I realized is that I have been pregnant on Mothers Day FOUR times!

My first Mothers day was confusing for my heart. I was 8 months pregnant with Jonathan, and considered myself a mom! Life begins at conception, and a pregnant Momma is giving all her strength and energy to her baby... but not everyone sees it that way.

The next year Jonathan was almost 1, and I was 5 months pregnant with Henry.

The next year I had my boys, and was not pregnant (haha, you might be a mom if... you measure passing years with whether you were pregnant or not :) ).

I thought a lot about last year: last year I was still carrying Evelyn. Last year was such a strange paradox of pain and blessing... I was so surrounded by life in my little boys, and so close to tasting Evelyn's death. I'm so, so grateful that I got to hold her on the inside on one Mothers Day. Evelyn's birthday is this Friday, and I plan to post about that later.

This year I have a big, round belly again- and a fresh perspective. Sitting in church today, I dug a little through my heart. My heart is in SUCH a different place than last year. Last year I was held calm in the balance between life and pain by my careful, perfect Creator. He walked so, so closely with me through the darkest time of my life, and now in my season of peace and joy, I can look back and see His faithfulness!

This year I see so freshly what an honor it is to carry life! What an honor to be trusted with children. As Christian moms we know that "Mom" is not just diapers, bandaids, nursing, no-nos, potty training, school, routines, lunches... "Mom" is the responsibility to mold hearts, to teach giant personalities stuffed into little bodies about their Creator- how to see Him, feel Him, chase after Him, respond to Him. What an honor that God has trusted us with such a giant, important, life-long task!

This year I'm overwhelmingly grateful to BE a Mom.

I want to pause for a bit before ending this post to honor those of you that know in your heart that you have carried life, even though the world may not acknowledge you. From the moment a woman's heart and body know that life has been given, a giant piece of her heart grows permanently wrapped around the unknown little person. If your heart is aching over premature separation from a child... may God bless you. May He walk closely with you, as He did with me. And may He again grant you life! Heaven sees you as "Momma", and so do I.

God bless you ladies, right next to my gratefulness for being given children sits my gratefulness to be surrounded my such a wonderful network of Mommas!
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