Friday, May 18th was Evelyn's first Birth Day!
In the weeks leading up to her special day, I spent some time planning how I wanted the day to go... I thought of some meaningful things we could do together to honor her place in our family. I've had so much peace about her short life, and I felt a little excited about the day, in a weird way.
On the 17th I began to notice in my heart a creeping darkness. It felt familiar in a rotting, aching, death sort of way. Josh came home from work in the afternoon, snuck up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, "How ya doin'?", he asked. I'm alright... "I don't believe you." It was then that I admitted that creeping, dark feeling in my heart. I turned in to his chest and wept like I did a year ago. I tasted her death again.
The moment passed, and peace began to reign in my heart again. We talked about it later, and realized that on the 17th of last year, I was carrying her empty body inside me- her heart already with Jesus. She wasn't born until the 18th, but on the 17th we had learned that she was gone.
Evelyn's first Birth Day was beautiful. It went in every way how I had planned. Of course I wish she could have been here, but it was a day of honoring her life and claiming God's victory through her! A dear friend of mine (who was with me just moments before she was born) came to our house to photograph our time together. The day was partly cloudy, warm with a gentle breeze. We released pale pink balloons in our back yard, symbolically sending them up to her and Jesus. We took photos of us holding her beautiful, rose shaped urn, and a tiny red rose that we took pictures with on the day she was born. The boys were so gentle with her urn, so loving and tender toward the sister they won't get to meet for awhile. We ate pale pink cupcakes (which Henry was particularly excited about!), and Ruby was in the photos as well- a symbol of God's detailed faithfulness.
What a unique, beautiful day- and what a mighty God we serve!
These photos are by Caitlin Kristine Photography
In the weeks leading up to her special day, I spent some time planning how I wanted the day to go... I thought of some meaningful things we could do together to honor her place in our family. I've had so much peace about her short life, and I felt a little excited about the day, in a weird way.
On the 17th I began to notice in my heart a creeping darkness. It felt familiar in a rotting, aching, death sort of way. Josh came home from work in the afternoon, snuck up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, "How ya doin'?", he asked. I'm alright... "I don't believe you." It was then that I admitted that creeping, dark feeling in my heart. I turned in to his chest and wept like I did a year ago. I tasted her death again.
The moment passed, and peace began to reign in my heart again. We talked about it later, and realized that on the 17th of last year, I was carrying her empty body inside me- her heart already with Jesus. She wasn't born until the 18th, but on the 17th we had learned that she was gone.
Evelyn's first Birth Day was beautiful. It went in every way how I had planned. Of course I wish she could have been here, but it was a day of honoring her life and claiming God's victory through her! A dear friend of mine (who was with me just moments before she was born) came to our house to photograph our time together. The day was partly cloudy, warm with a gentle breeze. We released pale pink balloons in our back yard, symbolically sending them up to her and Jesus. We took photos of us holding her beautiful, rose shaped urn, and a tiny red rose that we took pictures with on the day she was born. The boys were so gentle with her urn, so loving and tender toward the sister they won't get to meet for awhile. We ate pale pink cupcakes (which Henry was particularly excited about!), and Ruby was in the photos as well- a symbol of God's detailed faithfulness.
What a unique, beautiful day- and what a mighty God we serve!
These photos are by Caitlin Kristine Photography
I love the picture of Jonathan holding up the cupcake :)
ReplyDeleteOr Henry's.
ReplyDeleteI miss that lil girl and wish I could have met her.