the beginning of my garden

I've been wanting a garden for about 4 years now... last year I planted some herbs in a big planter, and called that a garden. This year, I have bigger plans.

Yesterday I spent some very therapeutic hours outside in the afternoon sun- divided between painting furniture (another love of mine), and starting my little garden! I bought a variety of tomatoes, cucumber, zucchini, a couple flowers... my mom gave me some daisy bulbs, and my grandma gave me some mint. Not much, but a start!

I don't really have a green thumb, and I know virtually nothing about plants, gardens, etc... but something about planting and growing things, and feeding my family what I grow, has become quite appealing. I think when I garden I feel a sense of "normal" for a little while- I feel like I'm thriving, instead of just surviving. SO, begins my garden.

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Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you: Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old! He adores his brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her exis...

Thank You

Thank you for walking alongside us, and for deeply crying out to God on our behalf. Tonight Josh and I held eachother with shaking arms, unable to breathe in our pain, with hot tears and groanings, deeper than we ever have. God is walking closely with us, teaching us, holding us. Thank you for being part of that. I can still feel little Evelyn Rose, she is still alive and moving- a continued miracle. As I sat down to pass on a little of this to some of you, here in the wee hours of the morning... in my husband's big sweatshirt, still wiping tears and snot on his sleeves (hope he doesn't mind... I'll just wash this sweatshirt before I give it back to him :) ), I had a photo file open on my desktop. I saw sweet little faces. Sweet, perfect little faces. What a joy and a privilege to raise two wild, wonderful boys. They are turning into such buddies, learning to appreciate eachother and play together instead of fighting, pushing, crying. They are innocent, energetic, curiou...

Beautiful Redemption

This weekend I tasted sweet, sweet intentional redemption from our Father... Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more. This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible h...

Grateful Acres

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