the beginning of my garden

I've been wanting a garden for about 4 years now... last year I planted some herbs in a big planter, and called that a garden. This year, I have bigger plans.

Yesterday I spent some very therapeutic hours outside in the afternoon sun- divided between painting furniture (another love of mine), and starting my little garden! I bought a variety of tomatoes, cucumber, zucchini, a couple flowers... my mom gave me some daisy bulbs, and my grandma gave me some mint. Not much, but a start!

I don't really have a green thumb, and I know virtually nothing about plants, gardens, etc... but something about planting and growing things, and feeding my family what I grow, has become quite appealing. I think when I garden I feel a sense of "normal" for a little while- I feel like I'm thriving, instead of just surviving. SO, begins my garden.

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Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you: Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old! He adores his brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her exis...

Evelyn Rose

It's time to write about Evelyn Rose. We knew I was pregnant around Thanksgiving 2010 (no test, we just knew!). We waited to tell family until Christmas, and had our first Dr. appointment in January '11. In march we had an ultrasound and discovered we were having a girl! After a couple hours of high excitement and celebration over our coming baby girl, I received a phone call from our Doctor. She had hard news for me- that our little girl was very small, and her brain was not forming right. We scheduled an ultrasound with a specialist, and prayed deeply for a week, for healing. During that week I prepared myself for a miracle, and also reached a place where I was overjoyed to take care of her, regardless of her condition. I did not prepare myself to lose her. At our next appointment we met with a "genetic counselor", and I let most of what she said roll off of me, thinking it would not apply to us. We loved seeing her during the ultrasound- her feet, hands, face, eye...

Who indeed

First, I want to express what JOY it was to be near a dear friend as she delivered her first, beautiful baby yesterday... what a privilege to see him (and her!!) less than an hour after delivery, still swept up in the intense miracle of it all! I never get tired of witnessing the first hours :) Next I hope to express some thoughts that've been rattling around my heart for a while. I had a moment of what I'm calling "inner-mom-panic" recently, in which I thought of my sweet Evelyn (who was born 9 1/2 months ago now!). I was thinking of her, and imagining how she must be now- whole, crawling, happy! And then the moment of panic: who is feeding her? who is giving her baths? who rocks her to sleep? WHO IS RAISING MY BABY?? I felt this irrational, desperate desire to ensure that she wasn't alone, unloved, uncared for. I've never had a child that I didn't raise myself... that I wasn't the one peeking in at them after they were asleep, that I wasn't th...

Grateful Acres

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