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...this is one Mothers Day I will never forget.

...this is one Mothers Day I will never forget. My first Mothers Day I desperately wanted to feel like a mother. I was quite pregnant with Jonathan, and considered myself a MOM! I felt like people didn't really consider me a real mom yet, since my baby was still on the inside.

This year, 3 years later, I have two little boys: born, energetic, and full of questions! I am pregnant again this Mothers Day, 6 months along. I have only a tiny bump-of-a-tummy, but my heart is Oh, so full.

Full of unexplainable joy as I scurry to keep up with the healthy children God gave me. Full of aching agony as I weep for the unhealthy little girl inside me that I long to keep. Full of ever-growing deep appreciation for both my mom and my mother in law, as I look at myself and see that I need them every bit as much now, at age 25, as I needed my Mom as an infant.

Jonathan came up to me, unannounced, and threw his arms around my tummy. He squeezed me and whispered to my tiny bump: " I love you, Evelyn." Henry saw him, and copied. Tiny arms, and "E-ve!". My heart does not know what to feel in a moment like that.

What a privilege to BE a mom, and to HAVE a mom. And what a strange place to be this year, both rejoicing in life given, and aching for life soon to be taken.

This is a Mother's Day I will never forget.

Comments

  1. KristyMay 7, 2011 at 3:24 PM

    I am certain the Lord is walking you through...holding you in his arms like a little child. He wants you to be happy and so do I! There are no words to express my sorrow for your family going through this whole thing but I do tell you that we support you and will walk next to you in the tears and will love your family with the love that Christ gave us to give! I pray that you will find some comfort with your family tommorrow on Mother's day and put all your cares and worries aside for one day and be so thankful! I know I am greatful to have met such an inspiration and can't wait to have more time with you and your family as well! We love you! Hang on...God's got you!

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