Skip to main content

We prepare to say goodbye

If we haven't been for the last 10 or so weeks, right now we are preparing to say goodbye. I heard a whisper in the second before my Dr. placed the ultrasound wand on my belly this afternoon, "she is with Me." I saw her tiny body on the screen and noticed how still she seemed. I held my breath, my heart pounding as we looked for her heart beat. None.
She is at rest with her Creator. Soon I will see my beautiful daughter's face. To the world's standards, her body will be very broken. But to God's standards, we will see beauty because she has lived her purpose: to point in honor to her Creator.
Pray that my body will have the strength to let my heart treasure each moment we get with her body. To God be the glory!

Comments

  1. CharityMay 17, 2011 at 8:28 PM

    Praying for you, Anna.

    ReplyDelete
  2. VickieMay 17, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    Anna- I have followed your blog and your pregnancy with your beautiful little girl. Your faith in our Lord amazes me. You are truly an inspiration to me!!! I am praying for you as you prepare to meet your precious little girl and to say goodbye. May God hold you in his arms, wrapping you in His love as you say goodbye. Thanks for sharing your story, your pain, your faith in our awesome God!
    Vickie Davis (Eric's mom/Molly's mom-in-law).

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownMay 17, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    I don't know you, but I am a friend of a friend. I just wanted to say that your post has blessed me tonight. I've really been struggling with some things in my life and tonight at church they talked about finding your faith's strength amidst a storm. Even though you just experienced a great tragedy, you point to God, and with exclamation. I dream of being that strong and being able to focus everything I have towards the One that brings me out of all the muck and mire and makes it all beautiful and good. Thank you for being transparent and open, and don't lose that amazing love for God that you have. Your child was blessed to have you as a mother for the short time that it did, and I know you will be blessed in this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anna RuthMay 18, 2011 at 3:47 AM

    Thanks, everyone. I have peace, as we move through this process.

    ReplyDelete
  5. WesleyMay 19, 2011 at 12:16 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  6. WesleyMay 19, 2011 at 12:20 PM

    I am a friend of Becca's (posting under my Husband's email address). I first heard about Evelyn through her post asking for prayer for her back in March. I cannot express how much of a blessing your blog has been. The faith you and your husband have is amazing. I am praying for you all during this time. That God will draw you ever closer to Himself and that he will heal your body and hearts quickly.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Small Victory

I have a small victory to share with you:  Let me give some context... I blogged about the loss of children recently, verbally stomping my feet and telling the enemy that I will have no more of it- and that I have chosen my side and refuse to budge. The children God has given me "on loan" are all so different... Jonathan was an easy baby, and is currently a whirl-wind 3 1/2 yr old- he is FULL of energy, curiosity, music, rythm, he is friendly, relational, deep (yes, deep!), always thinking, processing, talking... He knows about God and that Jesus is real, and he knows that his baby sister Evelyn is safe with Jesus. Henry was a difficult baby, and is an easy 2 yr-old!  He adores his  brother and wants to be where he is, he gives AMAZING hugs, likes to be held, likes books, connects quickly with people, is caring, noisy, talkative, fast... and still has his innocence. He likes to pray. Evelyn has changed my life more than anything. Her body was tiny, but her exis...
11 comments
Read more

Evelyn Rose

It's time to write about Evelyn Rose. We knew I was pregnant around Thanksgiving 2010 (no test, we just knew!). We waited to tell family until Christmas, and had our first Dr. appointment in January '11. In march we had an ultrasound and discovered we were having a girl! After a couple hours of high excitement and celebration over our coming baby girl, I received a phone call from our Doctor. She had hard news for me- that our little girl was very small, and her brain was not forming right. We scheduled an ultrasound with a specialist, and prayed deeply for a week, for healing. During that week I prepared myself for a miracle, and also reached a place where I was overjoyed to take care of her, regardless of her condition. I did not prepare myself to lose her. At our next appointment we met with a "genetic counselor", and I let most of what she said roll off of me, thinking it would not apply to us. We loved seeing her during the ultrasound- her feet, hands, face, eye...
9 comments
Read more

Beautiful Redemption

This weekend I tasted sweet, sweet intentional redemption from our Father... Last year I went to Women of Faith with my mom and her church. I went expecting to release the last of my sorrow over losing Evelyn. The band Selah was there, and they represent a lot of what happened in my heart while I carried Evelyn. Last year I sat in the front row of our suite with empty arms, bracing myself for the wave of pain I knew I would feel when Selah came onto the stage. The wave came crashing, and my mom wept silently with me over the daughter I will not see again on earth. It tasted bitter, but as I drank in the music, my heart healed a little more. This year as Women of Faith started, the very first song was embellished by petite ballerinas, dancing sweetly and elegantly for their Father. I sat in the front row again, this time with my arms warm with a beautiful little girl that God has loaned to me. This year the wave that hit me was actually more like a whisper (isn't it incredible h...
7 comments
Read more