Grateful Acres

God always knows... This has been the dreaded husband-out-of-town week! I had been bracing myself for this week, knowing it was going to be a test, in so many ways. I have never been more grateful to be not sleeping well, have a giant belly, be in pain all the time, have swollen hands and feet, and literally no space for a bladder, as I am now :) However, these things do add difficulty to maintaining consistency in child-raising... My body has taken a beating this week, because often my times of needed-rest were replaced with marching a child off to receive "correction". I think  my heart took a bit of a beating as well. As I let myself feel alone, I began to also feel discouragement and defeat. I have, in fact, not been alone in so many ways: both Grandmas, and my brothers have been over to help out here-n-there, as well as friends that have offered to let my kids make a mess at their place while her and I chat over coffee. But most of all, my God has not forgotten me. ...

I've never liked the label "THE TERRIBLE TWOs". I don't agree with the mindset it puts Mommas in, or the behavior it condones in two-year-old children. So, let's rename it! Age two is often when children really begin realizing that there are options, reasons, choices. That would explain, "why?", "I don't wanna", and "no." Two is when kids become aware of their freedom, and most of them spend a good part of a year intensely testing the limits of that freedom (and their Momma... :) ). I'm working through this stage with my second two-year-old at the moment, and I've had some realizations along the way. When our oldest, Jonathan, was two, I realized how important this year is. Someone told me that "two" is a time of laying the groundwork for the rest of his childhood- and I agree! It's when we most  firmly establish boundaries, consequences, expectations, and most importantly when we pour the mold for th...

Friday, May 18th was Evelyn's first Birth Day! In the weeks leading up to her special day, I spent some time planning how I wanted the day to go... I thought of some meaningful things we could do together to honor her place in our family. I've had so much peace about her short life, and I felt a little excited about the day, in a weird way. On the 17th I began to notice in my heart a creeping darkness. It felt familiar in a rotting, aching, death sort of way. Josh came home from work in the afternoon, snuck up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders, "How ya doin'?", he asked. I'm alright... "I don't believe you." It was then that I admitted that creeping, dark feeling in my heart. I turned in to his chest and wept like I did a year ago. I tasted her death again. The moment passed, and peace began to reign in my heart again. We talked about it later, and realized that on the 17th of last year, I was carrying her empty body inside me- he...

This morning I sat in church and reflected on the last few Mothers Days... A funny tid-bit I realized is that I have been pregnant on Mothers Day FOUR times! My first Mothers day was confusing for my heart. I was 8 months pregnant with Jonathan, and considered myself a mom! Life begins at conception, and a pregnant Momma is giving all her strength and energy to her baby... but not everyone sees it that way. The next year Jonathan was almost 1, and I was 5 months pregnant with Henry. The next year I had my boys, and was not pregnant (haha, you might be a mom if... you measure passing years with whether you were pregnant or not :) ). I thought a lot about last year: last year I was still carrying Evelyn. Last year was such a strange paradox of pain and blessing... I was so surrounded by life in my little boys, and so close to tasting Evelyn's death. I'm so, so grateful that I got to hold her on the inside on one Mothers Day. Evelyn's birthday is this Friday, and I p...

Henry said goodbye to his binkie tonight!   I used to have his binkie clipped to his shirt all the time. I got tired of losing it, dropping it gross places (non-gross places weren't a big deal :) ), etc, so he had a strap attached to it, clipped to his shirt. The binkie would dangle along with him wherever he went, and when necessary brought immediate comfort :) I loooooved his binkie, I have to confess. I loved the innocent contentment I saw in his face in those moments of "necessary immediate comfort". I loved how it could instantly bring quiet stillness to my noisy, verbal boy. I loved the simplicity of this tiny piece of plastic that made him feel so right with the world...  Late summer/early fall last year I tied a binkie to the hand of his beloved monkey. My game plan for the inevitable "time-to-say-goodbye-to-the-binkie" was to soften it a bit: I was going to unclip the binkie from his shirt, and only let him have the one attached to his monkey at be...

Most of you know through facebook, but I've been obnoxiously sick this week... it started with a sniffly cold, and on Wednesday turned into the stomach flu... I was up a whole night miserable, and quarantined myself in my room the next day (thanks to a joint effort by my mom, Josh and brother John!), in an attempt to prevent my wild little indians from getting "the throwups". No one else got it, and by Friday I was functional enough to get the bare minimum accomplished. I already told you about my wonderful weekend, so this story resumes on Monday. While my immune system was down with the flu, the cold I had started with decided to wreak havoc on my sinuses... Last night was my parenting class/mom night out, and I was hoping to come home refreshed enough to enjoy a bit of an evening with my husband (who has been patiently waiting for my personality to return...). The ladies prayed over my sinuses, and I had high hopes for a quick recovery. However, by the time I got h...

This weekend Josh and I savored our 5th Anniversary! The weekend went beautifully... We didn't to anything "big" on the actual weekend of our 5th, but we have a trip we are planning to take after Ruby is old enough to be left with her Grandmas :) Saturday morning we spent as a family- got some Dutch Bros and went garage sale-ing. The boys each found little treasures, and I found a few little things, and the weather was beautiful! After lunch we did a little yard work in the sun, had a quiet nap time, and then I surprised the boys (including Josh!) with a sleepover at Grandma and Grandpas! I had packed their bags with no one knowing during nap time :) Josh and I went out to some sentimental places: Calamity Jane's for dinner, and Sandy Cinemas for a movie, and were back home a little after 9! It felt strange to not tuck the kids in for bed... **side note, but I had a realization about why dinner-and-a-movie is such a popular date: Dinner is fa...